What Fly Shops Will Never Tell You!
Admin | Nov 23, 2009 | Comments 19
By Brent Gill from WAIT FOR IT FILMS
Mr. WILLY BUGGER. (Male, 45 to 65) This customer usually gets dropped off by his wife before she goes grocery shopping. He keeps his elbows firmly planted on the counter, likes to be involved in all conversations—been there, done that—plays with the drag on all the fly reels and buys nothing. ANNUAL FISHING DAYS = 4.
KID HACKLE. (Male or female, 7 to 17) The future of fly fishing. This keen youngster can probably cast their whole fly line. Extremely dangerous: they’ll ride over 20 miles on bicycle to fishing grounds and know about the latest fly-tying materials before the shops do. Mother will buy waders and boots two sizes too big. ANNUAL FISHING DAYS = 90.
GARY. (Male, 56) A steady flow customer that keeps the fly shop up to date on Wal-Mart’s pricing. Will buy a new rod and reel every year as long as the shop does not tell Mrs. Gary. Similar to Mr. Willy Bugger but has a true passion for the sport. Does not tie flies, wants pricing by the dozen. ANNUAL FISHING DAYS = 40.
HUGE TRUCK McFUCK. (Male, 20 to 30) Has a super hot girlfriend with him every time and leaves truck running outside blasting hip-hop. Wants black waders and wading boots. Will spend huge dollars on Sage, G. Loomis, and any reels made in gold colors. Cannot tie flies. Brings in pictures of trout on an i-phone and has a buddy who also wants to get into this “shit”. Buddy also has super hot girlfriend. ANNUAL FISHING DAYS = 25.
Mr. and Mrs. CADDIS PEOPLE. (Male and female, 40) A strange couple that had a “magical” day fishing dry flies during a Caddis hatch. Will not buy bead-heads, nymphs or attractors. Wife cannot find the right fit in Simms waders—extremely picky. Husband always wants polarized glasses that fit over prescriptions. Not dangerous. ANNUAL FISHING DAYS = 6.
Mr. OHYEAH. (Male, 35) Dude always says, “Oh yeah.” When asking about the new RIO fly line will say, “Oh yeah,” before the question is answered. Has been seen by other customers on the river yelling, “Oh yeah,” while landing most fish. Has three of everything. Good customer. ANNUAL FISHING DAYS = 110.
Mr. BUCK WINTERS. (Male, 40 to 45) Claims his private lake near his hunting grounds is loaded with 6-pounders. Only buys “egg sucking leeches” and trolls them behind split shots on his spinning rod. Has pictures to prove. ANNUAL FISHING DAYS = 12.
Mr. NOT WHAT I HEARD. (Male, 28 to 40) Very dangerous new breed of the E-fisherman: over informed and under practiced. Usually asks questions to challenge the answer. Has been “interested” in that Sage for a year but is weary of its price. Was introduced to fly fishing by Gary. ANNUAL FISHING DAYS = 15.
OLD MAN CAREY. (Old male, 70-something) Claims that the “Red Carey” was his original fly. Smells like most of the neck hackle. Always asks to use the bathroom and stays for exactly 20 minutes. Has a Hardy reel that the whole shop drools over, and he insists on “split cane and silk lines.” ANNUAL FISHING DAYS = None.
Mr. BEAMER not DREAMER. (Male, 50) Has succeeded in everything in life but fly fishing. Has purchased all top of the line gear and is looking for more. Fishes with two lawyer buddies but still cannot cast. Has signed up for lessons twice but has pulled two no-shows. Well groomed but frustrated. Not dangerous. ANNUAL FISHING DAYS = 15.
Mr. SHOP GUY. (Male, 20 to 40) Every shop’s dream. Has lots of current reports, has the shop sticker on vehicle and brings friends in to start fly fishing. Ties beautiful flies and brings in samples. Insists on fluorocarbon. Has a separate VISA card just for fly fishing that’s billed to a private P.O. Box. Has cute but “not so bright” wife. ANNUAL FISHING DAYS = 100.
THE FINS TWINS. (Males, 25-ish) Shop is still convinced that these brothers are stealing. One brother always stays by the flies while the other runs around asking questions about float-tube fins. THEY NEVER BUY FINS, THEY NEVER BUY FLIES.
Brent Gill is an active salt and freshwater guide in British Columbia and the creator of WAIT FOR IT FILMS. Feel free to email him your comments or questions at wait4itfilms@gmail.com
Hilarious…I love it
Nice! Pretty sure I met most of these dudes working retail.
[...] fly shops will never tell you… This is worth a look What Fly Shops Will Never Tell You! | Blood Knot Magazine The rest of the site is interesting too…different anyway [...]
Randy – great article! I see you as Mr Shop Guy – minus the separate card and wife comment.
Happy New Year.
I kind of hate when I read these things and see that I might have a little bit of some of those guys in me. I have always hoped that I would be cooler than that. I sucks to see that I’m not!
This is hysterical, Everything is the same in our shop, i just never thought to write it down. Haha the worst is mr. not what i heard cause then i usually have to correct them, and then they get mad and then they question my judgment and i have to remind them i may be young but i fish a lot more then you do, i guide in the summers and I help run a shop…
Hilarious. Anyone who has ever worked in a shop knows all these people by their real names. Like the guy who owns 6 houses and a ranch in Patagonia but won’t shell out $50 to get a grip repaired on a T&T that most people would kill for.
This is funny and very true. Great site guys !!!
That’s 100% spot on correct… We have folks like that in our Shop here in L.A… Fortunately they are the Minority.. (but annoying nonetheless)….
[...] What Fly Shops Will Never Tell You! This article cracks me up! Which fly shop customer are you? What Fly Shops Will Never Tell You! | Blood Knot Magazine [...]
Funny article some of it certainly true, and some of those characters I certainly have met, but at least they keep showing up.
[...] What Fly Shops Will Never Tell You! | Blood Knot Magazine [...]
I have one more to add. This is a real person. His latin name is Scottacus Notsobrightacus. Fancies himself an expert but is totally clueless. Likes to pretend he works in the shop and corners customers and proceeds to give unsolicited bad advice. Will carry on indefinately unless shop employee rescues customer. Will call the shop and ask how much a bucktail costs. You tell him $4.95. Hi shows up a half an hour later with $4.27 and asks if you can cut him a deal. When you tell him no he goes out to the parking lot and removes the seats from his car searching for spare change. Always buys the very best gear which he can’t afford so he puts it on layaway and takes 6 months to pay. When asked why he is buying another 9 wt he answers in all seriousness “well 9 is my lucky number”. When asked why he si buying a particular rod he will quote the ad from the magazine verbatim.
Hav had no recent sightings. We think his wife finally killed him.
JOE!! That’s hilarious….. I remember a “Scottacus” that would make us shriek when that car pulled in!!!
This is hilarious. But, you forgot the self-important smartass behind the counter that steeps in all the secrets he holds – as if he came by them through his own cleverness and hard work – and only selectively meters tidbits to those he deems worthy.
I like it Sal, that’s the P-timer who owes the shop all his paychecks plus some, has a batch of aborted fly pattern attempts that you will never see behind the counter. He ties but his box is pure Umpqua. This dude can take a “casual report” and turn the wrong stream into a Walmart parking lot. Remember, “up to date” shop hot spots are only valuable before they hit the shop.
Must have forgot the guy/gal (or I missed him/her) that doesn’t go to the fly shop but a few times a year, purchases a few minor items, says very little, but is listening to the (clientelle) listed above… He or she checks out the prices, realizes that the things he or she needs can be picked up on craigslist/ebay or at a yard sale or at a bulk craft shop or he/she already has them. Fishes 360 days a year. Catches fish but doesn’t tell. No photos on Moldy Chum, no bragging on a blog. Threw a spey rod before they were popular and would rather spend his/her extra money on a good brew. The next time someone comes into the flyshop, pets the dog, dressed in peasant fishing attire, looks the inventory over with one ear to the traffic, hire him/her. They are probably stocking a shelf or changing oil at Jiffy Lube and should be selling your gear to the customers with a real income. But you have to be good enough to pick up on it.
This is great, i have seen this first hand, ya really hit it right on the nail!
Well done!! We know all these guys but luckily MR SHOP GUY visits us mostly.