P.O.A. of the IDIOT

11:30pm:  

I’ve spent the greater part of the evening preparing all of my fly equipment for my trip tomorrow. Actually, six hours of tying flies and re-tying tippets and butt-sections that were already in perfect order. THAT’S JUST ME. I have forgotten to eat dinner this evening and I have left the television on the “shopping network” but I’m not shopping. I have been through this before, OH HAVE I EVER. Tomorrow morning I am heading out to one of the best lakes in British Columbia to catch the elusive and respectful “KAMLOOPS RAINBOW TROUT”. 

I have more “P.O.A.’s” I call them, (plans of attack) than ever before. I have one day to use four different types of sinking lines and eight different fly patterns. This is my “couch plan” and from here in my living room, I AM READY, matter of fact, I can read the trout minds from here in my house. I have invented two of the ugliest versions of a scud that I think anyone has ever seen, but “oh no,” those fish have no idea what will hit them. The best part about being on the edge of technology, I now have Google Earth maps that I’ve downloaded of the lake – NEW SPOTS, NEW SHOALS. 

3:00am:  

I’m sure I slept, I have dubbing caught in the corner of my mouth. All of my gear is placed beside the door like a display case. The coffee machine started brewing at 2:45am just to be ready. The truck was filled with gas the day before. Lunch was made yesterday at 6:00pm. I think that I really am getting better at this. I HAVE MADE MYSELF A PROMISE TO STICK TO MY NEW GUNS.

8:16am:  

I have backed down into the shoreline and switched my truck out of 4Low, the lake looks great, the sun is half out with some great cloudy patches. 

I am actually trying not to look out to the lake as I’m setting my boat and rods up because I know deep down the slightest ‘ring’ could mess up my plans and put some speed to this methodical prep-work. I really came prepared today, whatever they want, I will deliver.

8:21am: 

Today I am the guide and the guest, the photographer and the cook, the teacher and the student, the IDIOT.  

8:28am: 

I drop both anchors in perfect unison, this is right on the tip of the shoal that I have been casting off of for years. My boat is in about eight feet of water and my casting range ends in around 18 feet. THIS IS MY SPOT. Now I am talking to myself in my head, just like last night but with a different twist. This is the old guy fighting the new guy, already. I pull out my fly boxes and sit them down next to me. This is the moment I challenge my “city thoughts” up against my proven knowledge. My eyes are scanning my new inventions and I’m starting to argue inside. I HAVE BEEN HERE BEFORE. My hand is seperated from my brain in a split second and I grab my “old faithful” pattern. I nod to myself and grab my older rod with my well beaten type 2 sinking line. I am fully aware that this is the same SHIT SETUP that I have used for years in this lake and that is the same SHIT FLY. Matter of fact, this is the same SHIT SHOAL. This is how the day will go. I already know it, I won’t admit it to myself though, I have to stick to the “proven product” first, then later in the day I can find time to experiment… 

10:52pm (a week later): 

The “SHAM-WOW” commercial has been on for over an hour. What the hell is the “SLAP-CHOP?” I got it! If I put a bunch of mixed dubbing in the SLAP-CHOP I could come up with a super hybrid Scud pattern! I could chop up mini snippets of crystal flash to blend right in. Those stupid SHAM-WOW cloths would clean up this mess like nothing else. I’m starting to really get good at this. The coffee machine still needs to be programmed and I still need to get gas. My lunch is dialed in and OH……. “DO I EVER HAVE A NEW PLAN OF ATTACK.”…idiot.

Brent Gill is an active salt and freshwater guide in British Columbia and the creator of WAIT 4 IT FILMS. Feel free to email him your comments or questions at wait4itfilms@gmail.com